What's pretend??

There are times that I think of myself as "make believe". There are not too many other women like me and I'm not sure why but I'd love to get to know them and form a support group or something. I am now 42. I have children that are 24-23-5-3. Who does that to themselves? I do not have a "significant other" and have decided that either I'm too busy or it's just not in God's plan. I love to serve at the church as often as possible, typically now, about 10 hours a week and attend a full-time status at BSU, with 20 credits. I'm a part-time foster mom that only will take kids if it's listed as a crisis. I workout at the gym about 6 hrs a week and also volunteer at my lil' sons school as the home art mom, typically about 10 hrs a week. My house is immaculate, my car gets vacuumed every Thursday and I love to do laundry. Also, for the season, I am the assistant to the director for the children's Christmas choir and am looking forward to it. Typically, I am the cooridinator of the "angel tree" project but unfortunately, because of my failures last year, I think I will decline to help, if asked.

When I look at my list of things to do, I just think of it as "living" and "dreaming", hopefully to God's will... but then look at my babies at dress-up time, they are just living and dreaming the costume they are in. I don't think of my life as a costume, except that when it finally comes off, I'll be in the kingdom of heaven.

Ho Ho Ho!!

Here is the update for Dylan's weekly home Mom" project. I was asked to make 40 of these Santas. I don't know what they are for but this was such a great family project. This consisted of 5 evenings of cutting felt, faces, and triangles. Then, gluing the pink felt to the white - adding eyes and nose. The next night we sewed two buttons to each of the front of the Santas. The next night we tacked the white strip of felt to the bottom and added the black belt with a gold hand made buckle (wire and lots of needle-nosed plier time) tonight the final touches of stuffing with batting, sewing the closing and glueing the white puff ball for the hat. It's so funny that I have no idea what these are used for and I'm truly praying for each of them as I'm making them. I think they are given to the kids of Dylan's class and want to send home a prayer of blessing to each one of them as they are made. Cece actually started to name them and was quite upset with Dylan that he couldn't remember all of their names. Thank you, Jesus for my little detail oriented child and thank you for the one you sent me that doesn't seem to care. I love the balance.

Is there such a thing as "Mr. Right"?

As a non-traditional student or just a single woman of my age, I guess it's difficult to think about relationships with men and what is supposed to be "Mr. Right". Before I get started on my little escapade, let me say that I truly think God has a plan for everyone and that includes relationships, it's just whether we choose to listen and follow his plan or be impatient and "go on our own".

Dating has become a chapter in my life that I just can't wait to read and get to the end to see the happy ending. It's been very up and down and I've been able to take something out of every single date, good and bad. For the most part, I choose to "not" date. The majority of the reason is because there just is not any time left in my little schedule and I think it's important to have the desire to make it count and be a priority.

Relationships are very time consuming, if you want to do them right and I do. I also have issues with so many of the men, and yes, I'm stereotyping... that come with so much baggage. I was married to the perfect man for 16 years and thought it was forever, he chose to spend the rest of his life with someone else so that leaves me pondering... is there a Mr. Right? Is there really a man that knows how to let me clean and not feel like he has to do it himself to help out, it would be all wrong? Or someone who has not been married 2-3 times, paying alimony and child support for kids from each marriage? What about putting up with my schedule and when I come home and just want pb&j for dinner, which is a current staple, will say "yay"? And first and foremost, will be a leader in our household making sure we all love God in a strong way.

I think about how nice it would be to have someone who knows me so well, who enjoys being with me and smiles when I make a joke, who will just hug me when I'm having a bad day or would just like to know my secrets and love me anyway. I miss the intimacy and accountability, the "always" being there for a couples night out, or knowing that if there is a father/daughter dance, my daughter would have someone to take her.

It's very much a give & take. I also enjoy my freedom, for now! I know that I can meet a friend for lunch and not have to worry about if it's in the budget, I do my budget. Or if I can just grab a pizza on the way home from class, I decide what's for dinner. I can schedule 20 credits for this semester and know that I'm the only one it's going to drain...

For now, it's just a simple question... is there a Mr. Right? I dunno, maybe!!! All in God's time!